Water jet-packs? A human slingshot? Er, these activities want to kill you, basically.
River bugging in Aberfeldy
River bugging essentially involves plunging over a series of waterfalls in an inflatable armchair, and trying as best you can to make it to the end of the river without either capsizing or drowning. If this extremely unwise (but scenic) sport sounds like fun to you, check out Splash White Water Rafting Scotland.
Flying a microlight in East Lothian
East of Scotland Microlights offers gift experience vouchers from £70, which involves being flown around far above the Firth of Forth in a tiny microlight aircraft. You'll soar over beautiful beaches, or head towards Edinburgh on longer flights. It's pretty much the coolest possible way to see the capital, if you don't mind sitting in a flying hairdryer.
Aqualining at Calvine Canyon
Aqualining is basically tightrope walking, but the rope isn't particularly tight, and you're also expected to cross a canyon over a river. Sounds pretty barmy to us, but if you want to give it a try, stag and hen-do company Pop The Fizz offer sessions at Calvine Canyon in Dunkeld. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Flyboarding on Loch Auchenreoch
If you want to experience what it's like to fly and drown simultaneously, why not try your hand at flyboarding (basically, a watery jet-pack) on this scenic Scottish loch? You can plunge through the water like a giant, terrified dolphin for only £95. If you survive, the nearby Inn on the Loch is a good place to celebrate.
flyboardingexperiences.co.uk / Giphy
Cliff jumping in the Outer Hebrides
Hebridean Pursuits run coasteering sessions, where you climb along the coastline, swim along the shore, and splash through sea caves. Oh, and you'll also be expected to jump into the water from high cliffs, which is a bit more alarming. If you think you're up for the challenge, click here.
Paramotoring or paragliding in the Highlands
Beyond Extreme are a paragliding school based next to Loch Ness. They offer one-day taster paragliding sessions for £180, or you could try your hand at paramotoring, which is basically paragliding at high speeds while strapped to a giant fan. Looks pretty crazy, but it's definitely a good way to try and spot Nessie.
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Extreme kayaking down the Falls of Falloch
This beautiful, fearsome 30-foot high waterfall near the Highland town of Crianlarich is popular with kayakers, mainly because of its rollercoaster-like incline. It's only for experienced paddlers; it's fun but pretty dangerous. You can hire kayaks in nearby Killin.
Traversing the Cuillin Ridge on Skye
This terrifying, precipitous, knife-edge ridge on the Isle of Skye has incredible views, if you've got the guts to actually go up there, that is. You need to be a competent and fit individual; if so you can book a two-day guided climb with this local expert, including a night spent bivouacking under the stars on a rocky ledge.
Skydiving in Strathallan, Perthshire
Or if that isn't high enough for you, you could always head to Skydive Strathallan in Perthshire. It was founded in 1960, making it the oldest skydiving centre in Scotland, which is good because if you're going to jump out of a perfectly good aircraft for no reason, you at least want to be in experienced hands. More info here.
Ice climbing in Kinlochleven
This photo might look like it was taken in a crevasse somewhere in the Alps, but it's actually Ice Factor, the world's biggest indoor ice climbing centre in Scotland. It's made from 500 tons of snow and ice, and stands at a dizzying height of 12m. If you want to try this seriously intense pastime yourself, it costs £48 per session.
Soapbox gravity racing in Lanarkshire
Gravity racing is an extreme form of go-karting in handmade soap-box racers (carties) which can reach speeds of up to 60mph, making it a pretty dangerous pastime. There's a club in Scotland dedicated to the activity, and they have tutorials about how to make your own. The next official race is the Hawksland Bogie Race in July.
Abseiling down the Forth Bridge
The gigantic, rust-red Forth Bridge is over 165ft high, and thrill-crazed adrenaline junkies often agree to abseil down in for charity. The next charity fundraising abseil will be in October for Chest, Heart, and Stroke Scotland. Argh.
Ziplining in Aviemore
Zip Trek adventure park in Aviemore have a 550-metre long zip wire that whisks people along at 40mph through scenic pine forests. It's absolutely terrifying, but certainly memorable. The park has another 13 zip wires as well, though this one's the longest and fastest. You can get more info about how to book here.
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Bungee jumping in Killiecrankie
This incredibly scenic bungee jump is colloquially known as the “Highland Fling”, with participants falling 40 metres from a specially constructed platform above the River Garry in Perthshire at speeds of up to 50 miles per hour. You'll get to take in the spectacular view as you plummet towards the water…if you're brave enough to keep your eyes open, that is.
Canyoning through the Falls of Bruar
Canyoning is essentially river bugging, but without the inflatable armchair. Scotland is a fantastic place to try this batshit sport, as it's filled with beautiful glens, fast flowing rivers, and narrow gorges. Don't go it alone though or you might get injured: You should enlist the help of a professional company like Nae Limits.
And being twanged from a human slingshot in Dumfries
Laggan Outdoor Centre is home to the first “human slingshot” in the UK, which sends brave and misguided souls flying into the air at stomach-churning speeds of up to 90mph. If you're a) a bit unhinged and b) keen to find out what it's like to be used as ballast in a catapult, it costs £50 per person. Click here for more info.
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As bonus, you can watch a BBC reporter experiencing the full bum-clenching horror of the slingshot below:
*laughs for days*